Another day to realize

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I woke up, in afternoon nap.

Feeling grungy, disturbed cuz I overslept.
Same life cycle..I want to get out of my mind, this comfort zone!

It felt like my day wasted..not so productive.
Times like these push me to do more,..
why it doesn’t stay consistent!

 thrill to achieve  |    thrill for success



success doesn’t come easy

i been numb, depressed for last few days…and i don’t know how long its gona stay like this.

im spending more, eating unnessarily.
i feel unfocused.


how it all started…
my good close female friend passed away, suddenly at her home.she was such a gem, down to earth , funny, jolly person. i was thinking about her when i read this sad news. i was in shock, big time! it was hard for me to believe. she was really dear to me..such persons hardly come around..
today , my collegue’s dad passed away..death is a reminder to us all.
everytime i attend a leads me to new doors to think.
it was a reminder how im gona bury my father when the time will come.

now, i’ve lost my respect for my parents. i come home, numb, not intersted.
its terrible when the parents are not sincere with their children. and that bonding has faded away. and im worried that with which mindset im gona honor them, or bury them.
i feel dead inside, hopeless.

im losing focus everywhere. my work’s productivity has gone bad! i feel not interested in making money or getting new/more projects.
to live a life is to live with the right people and im not lucky enough esp at home.


success doesn’t come easy

Majid Jordan – Outro

Meeting with Ag is always supernatural. A cure, a solution, a  relief.

and im blessed to be one of his closed ones.
I learn so much from him every time there’s a sitting.
New songs, new life lessons, what’s happening in the market. the reality about people.

sometimes I wonder maybe its the distance that makes our bonding stronger cuz we meet after a month or two..and same time, I think to work together as our subconscious mind is united.


this time , he seemed changed when he said that non-chemistry between relationship is a good thing too!!
even in my dreams, I didn’t expect to hear this from a guy like him ..and this has moved me!..seriously!

Cuz his mind is my mind..



Majid Jordan – Outro

she, my childhood dream

she has the same old music taste.
she likes the same movie.
she’s brave.
she’s cries on movies just like me.
she got that smile I’d watch and not get tired.
She got those big eyes..those stares…
She shares the same joke.
she has a superior analysis thinking.
she hides her feelings.
she has that optimistic mindset .
she’s 23.
She got the looks I get lost into.
She got the body I adore all day.

– sometimes, when I’m just own my own,..her scent of calm, happiness blows me away out of blue , out of nowhere.



she, my childhood dream

Sweet Dreams

How fast can you dream. How valuable your dreams can be.

Cuz dreams happen in mind rather than in scale of time tangibly so they can be as fast as they can. They might happen to be according to our wish for pleasure, what we’re thinking or a sign, a warning maybe.

For example, I saw one apartment in my dream last night and it was really refreshing, from its white color & interior.White walls, white bed. I can still imagine the study room and the book shelf. It was unlike I’ve ever seen in real life.It was happiness. Somehow it gave a happy ending feeling. 😛
Its balcony where the corner end of it was made of see-through-window-glass and I could see thru the floor down below all the cityscape at a higher elevated level, it was one hell scary view!

I became an architect in my dreams.

Sweet dreams.

Sweet Dreams

Above The Trees (Dedo Remix)

I discovered this track and the album back in 2013.
I listened to these tracks a lot!

and then I forgot, maybe I found new playlist.

Last night, I found it again surprisingly while going through my facebook profile old timeline.


I haven’t  remember merely listening to a track and doing nothing… and it feels SO good. just me and my music, far away from anything.
but this made me feel like..past, present and future. It made me realized.

oh, i miss my good music.

sometimes i think i’m blessed with such music and artists.


Above The Trees (Dedo Remix)